Title Giveaway

I’m going to collect all of the Title Giveaways here. New ones first each week. New ones in bold.

I explain why this all exists here

Take what you want, do what you want with them.

  1. I Really Like You, Gumbo
  2. Cods Will Be Cods
  3. Yes Chef
  4. Raspberry Cages
  5. Varnishing The Lily
  6. No Title Giveaway this week as I haven’t thought of any. 
  7. Sorry. 
  8. Complaints on a postcard to the usual address
  9. Oh, hang on
  10. This might actually work
  11. Oh yeah, there’s also
  12. In Under The Wire Boxset
  13. A Trip To The Isolation Zoo (Nicked, with permission off my mate Adam via Instagram)
  14. Jumping The Gin
  15. Johnny Big Hood
  16. Elf Cobblers
  17. Wash Your Hands
  18. My Random Word Generator Suggested Random Word Generator 
  19. Default Settings
  20. Alan Is Morrissey, Etc
  21. Nephilim Club
  22. Mailing The World’s Last Postage Stamp (NB I may want to use this later, but let me know if you get there first…)
  23. Cuts & Browsers
  24. Hippocratic Oats
  25. Idyllic Postmen
  26. Photonbooth (thanks to a typo earlier)
  27. Captain Ergotron
  28. Captain Ergotron Rides Again
  29. The Continuing Story of Captain Ergotron
  30. Captain Ergotron: The Next Generation
  31. Six Degrees of Strawmen
  32. Trust Exercise
  33. Memoirs of a Gopher
  34. Knick, Knack, Paddywhack, Give The Dog A Drone
  35. For you I’d Swallow Niagara Falls
  36. The Implications
  37. The Imp Locations
  38. Trial A Little Tenderness For Free, + £1.pp P&P
  39. I Was All Set To Join The Jet Set Which I Now Regret
  40. We Made Bald Men Fight Over Combs, You Won’t Believe What They Fought Over Next
  41. Washing My Heir
  42. Watering Houseplants on Houseboats and Wearing a Housecoat
  43. The Immediate Problems Caused by Getting Tinsel in your Blood Stream
  44. Gepetto’s Tools Were Not Toys
  45. Fortified Whine
  46. Fitness Videos By Aging Glam Rockers, or Shawaddywaddy’s Squaddie Body
  47. All The Dignity I Can Muster
  48. Being Present
  49. The Old Switcheroo 
  50. Trickier than pulling teeth out of a Hen
  51. Hen’s Dentist
  52. Never an Oeuf
  53. Len’s Flare
  54. Len’s Flair
  55. Boutros- Boutros Svengali
  56. Planting Fig Trees
  57. Guerilla Gardening
  58. Scabby Horse
  59. Start With the Punchline and Work Backwards
  60. Big Dogs
  61. Fog At the Edges of my Brain
  62. Dad Bod
  63. Dad, Bod
  64. Bod, Dad
  65. Bod Dad
  66. Light Seconds
  67. A Momentary Stay of Execution
  68. Toodlepip
  69. You Can Lead a Hose to Water
  70. Ironing Pile
  71. Maintaining The Status Quo status quo
  72. Lost in the K-Hope
  73. Magaluf Mega-cops
  74. Turn Out The Lights On Your Way Out
  75. You Look Like You’ve Lost A Fiver And Found Ten Pence
  76. Selection Box
  77. Sock Curry
  78. Boxsets and Blankets
  79. Even Lizards Succumb to Optical Illusions
  80. No Man Is An Iliad
  81. No Man is Isla St Clair
  82. Lizard Let Die
  83. What Is The Point of Arsenal Right Now?
  84. One Ill Octopus for Six Quid
  85. 300 Jars
  86. Build Me A Buttercup
  87. Die Fingermouse
  88. Deadball Specialist
  89. Fag Ash Lilt
  90. Prior Convictions
  91. Falseoreo – (A name for non-branded Oreos as invented by Florence and sounds like Shakespeare character)
  92. How to Put a Fez on an Alien
  93. Man, You Got Banned From a Bookshop
  94. Priority Seat
  95. Orthopaedic Hovercraft (Credit to my wife for this one)
  96. The Screaming of Rhubarb
  97. Darkness on the Edge of Tans
  98. Burnt Parsnips
  99. Gestation Periods
  100. Don’t Listen to Joe Dolce
  101. Compressed Sea Creatures
  102. Burning Things
  103. Sunday Best
  104. Gospel Science
  105. Sexy Talk
  106. Mrs Marple’s Marbles
  107. Mono Lake’s Bizarre Roundworms
  108. Terrible Mammoth Drawing
  109. Silky Grundies
  110. A Bag of Badgers
  111. Roadies
  112. Tin Can Tourists
  113. Tracking The Tick Boom
  114. Magnificent Mailboxes
  115. Oulu Groke
  116. Abyssal Wasteland
  117. Deflated balloons
  118. Self-cleaning Fridges
  119. Roombas On Their Night Off
  120. Clown Computing
  121. Chauffeur Knowledge
  122. Radical Candour (As seen on a slide at work)
  123. Menacing Tumbleweeds
  124. Olu Groke
  125. Tiny Plant Comeback
  126. The Declining
  127. Sunlit Uplands Retirement Home
  128. Vacuuming Nude
  129. This is the Cloning of the Age of Aquarius
  130. Heavenly Bamboo
  131. Squashes
  132. Piggy Back Racing
  133. Here’s to Finding Out Things
  134. Yeah, Whatever
  135. Washed Up, On A Beach
  136. Trampoline Blues
  137. Null and Void
  138. Pretzel Regret
  139. Affordable Horsing
  140. Slip on shoes should be banned
  141. A dying owl looks back
  142. I find myself caught in the arms of a colossal squid and I don’t want to be let out
  143. Hard hats to follow
  144. Semioticians take twice as long to unpack
  145. Semiotic Ian
  146. Blood Sugar Sex Mattress
  147. A Collie Wobbles
  148. Moon Butter Sculpture
  149. A Line of Best Fit
  150. If you say Squiggle one more time…
  151. That was never out…
  152. Rutger Hauer’s Finest Hours
  153. Duvet? No, it’s Christmas
  154. GDPR Workshop
  155. They had Phil Collins in mind when you were conceived
  156. Scraping the floor at the Barrel makers
  157. Should Poets Have KPIs?
  158. Instrument Amnesty (Thanks to my daughter’s school for the email title)
  159. On Playing War Pigs for the First Dance at your Wedding
  160. Sounding Bored
  161. Invalid Captcha
  162. Welcome to my Ted Talk
  163. Sighs of a Cow
  164. Magnets
  165. HD TV
  166. The Chick Pea Revolution
  167. Climbing onboard an above average height horse
  168. Panda Quotidian (Thanks to Flo for this one)
  169. Watching The Cure
  170. In Twenty Minutes
  171. So Got to Go
  172. Pocket Squares
  173. Section by section, we laid the track
  174. Frog, March
  175. Full Court Press
  176. Boxer’s Break
  177. The Devil’s Avocado
  178. Gold Dust Variations
  179. Auto Recovery File
  180. Exertion Headache
  181. Peeling The Finch
  182. Hip Gardener
  183. Three Square Meals
  184. Metro Gnomic
  185. Suds Law
  186. The Search For Martian Fettucine*
  187. No Rushes
  188. Dunking Biscuits
  189. Who Wants To See My Arse?
  190. Ankle Knack
  191. Sandwich Fillings You Never Expected
  192. Nest of Wankers
  193. Sideways Looks
  194. Stunner
  195. Sweet Jesus, That’s Ridiculous…And I Like It
  196. The Court Might Be Yours, And There May Be A Ball In It, But It’s My Ball And I’m Taking It Home
  197. A Chicken And Egg Situation
  198. The Finished Schematics For A Chicken And An Egg
  199. If I Had To Chose
  200. Poem With Backing Vocals
  201. Torreador of Uncertainty
  202. Who Wants to Win The League anyway
  203. Hitchcock’s Hatchback
  204. Florida Keycutter
  205. When Your Pilot is a Juggalo
  206. Kiss My Device Graph
  207. Spoilers
  208. A Gottle of Geer
  209. Pelf on the Shelf
  210. Erotic Cake-Dancing
  211. Sticklebricks and Sticklemortar
  212. Collaborative Salad Making
  213. More Dynamite for your Dollar
  214. A Smattering Tragedy*
  215. Hand-reared 
  216. Arranging Aquatic Birds in a Linear Fashion
  217. Pulled Muscle Cars
  218. Poem Written as an Instrumental
  219. Nicky, Louder
  220. Mesopotamian Lullabies**
  221. Christmas Card Lust***
  222. Now that’s what I call a deck chair
  223. Keeping Obituaries on File
  224. The Onset of Twats
  225. Retirement Home for Fly-By-Nights
  226. Simon of the Times
  227. People Can Act Like Rivets If You Need Them To
  228. The Unbearable Lightness of Beading
  229. Blanket Bans
  230. Stalking the Back Roads
  231. The Inventor of Ironing
  232. Catalan Dog
  233. Bloodletting Agent
  234. Slinging Hooks
  235. 60-Day Bed Rest
  236. Squids of Oahu
  237. Cows Around The World
  238. Seaside Fatberg
  239. Fancy Baby Boot
  240. Egyptian Egg Ovens
  241. Unsolved Mysteries
  242. For The High Jump
  243. Hogwash
  244. Disco Cowboy Hat
  245. Driver Analysis
  246. Four He’s A Jolly Good Fellows
  247. Persona Non-Starter
  248. Dog Treats
  249. Dodo Starter Kit
  250. The day I replaced your shampoo with glue
  251. Awkward Squad Roll Call
  252. Toreador of Uncertainty
  253. Very Tres Bon
  254. A Path Through The Hair Forest
  255. Loop The Loop
  256. Friday’s Never Been Good For Fighting, But It’s Good For Fish & Chips