Title Giveaway

I’m going to collect all of the Title Giveaways here. New ones first each week. New ones in bold.

I explain why this all exists here

Take what you want, do what you want with them.

I Really Like You, Gumbo
Cods Will Be Cods
Yes Chef
Raspberry Cages
Varnishing The Lily
No Title Giveaway this week as I haven’t thought of any.
Sorry.
Complaints on a postcard to the usual address
Oh, hang on
This might actually work
Oh yeah, there’s also
In Under The Wire Boxset
A Trip To The Isolation Zoo (Nicked, with permission off my mate Adam via Instagram)
Jumping The Gin
Johnny Big Hood
Elf Cobblers
Wash Your Hands
My Random Word Generator Suggested Random Word Generator
Default Settings
Alan Is Morrissey, Etc
Nephilim Club
Mailing The World’s Last Postage Stamp (NB I may want to use this later, but let me know if you get there first…)
Cuts & Browsers
Hippocratic Oats
Idyllic Postmen
Photonbooth (thanks to a typo earlier)
Captain Ergotron
Captain Ergotron Rides Again
The Continuing Story of Captain Ergotron
Captain Ergotron: The Next Generation
Six Degrees of Strawmen
Trust Exercise
Memoirs of a Gopher
Knick, Knack, Paddywhack, Give The Dog A Drone
For you I’d Swallow Niagara Falls
The Implications
The Imp Locations
Trial A Little Tenderness For Free, + £1.pp P&P
I Was All Set To Join The Jet Set Which I Now Regret
We Made Bald Men Fight Over Combs, You Won’t Believe What They Fought Over Next
Washing My Heir
Watering Houseplants on Houseboats and Wearing a Housecoat
The Immediate Problems Caused by Getting Tinsel in your Blood Stream
Gepetto’s Tools Were Not Toys
Fortified Whine
Fitness Videos By Aging Glam Rockers, or Shawaddywaddy’s Squaddie Body
All The Dignity I Can Muster
Being Present
The Old Switcheroo
Trickier than pulling teeth out of a Hen
Hen’s Dentist
Never an Oeuf
Len’s Flare
Len’s Flair
Boutros- Boutros Svengali
Planting Fig Trees
Guerilla Gardening
Scabby Horse
Start With the Punchline and Work Backwards
Big Dogs
Fog At the Edges of my Brain
Dad Bod
Dad, Bod
Bod, Dad
Bod Dad
Light Seconds
A Momentary Stay of Execution
Toodlepip
You Can Lead a Hose to Water
Ironing Pile
Maintaining The Status Quo status quo
Lost in the K-Hope
Magaluf Mega-cops
Turn Out The Lights On Your Way Out
You Look Like You’ve Lost A Fiver And Found Ten Pence
Selection Box
Sock Curry
Boxsets and Blankets
Even Lizards Succumb to Optical Illusions
No Man Is An Iliad
No Man is Isla St Clair
Lizard Let Die
What Is The Point of Arsenal Right Now?
One Ill Octopus for Six Quid
300 Jars
Build Me A Buttercup
Die Fingermouse
Deadball Specialist
Fag Ash Lilt
Prior Convictions
Falseoreo – (A name for non-branded Oreos as invented by Florence and sounds like Shakespeare character)
How to Put a Fez on an Alien
Man, You Got Banned From a Bookshop
Priority Seat
Orthopaedic Hovercraft (Credit to my wife for this one)
The Screaming of Rhubarb
Darkness on the Edge of Tans
Burnt Parsnips
Gestation Periods
Don’t Listen to Joe Dolce
Compressed Sea Creatures
Burning Things
Sunday Best
Gospel Science
Sexy Talk
Mrs Marple’s Marbles
Mono Lake’s Bizarre Roundworms
Terrible Mammoth Drawing
Silky Grundies
A Bag of Badgers
Roadies
Tin Can Tourists
Tracking The Tick Boom
Magnificent Mailboxes
Oulu Groke
Abyssal Wasteland
Deflated balloons
Self-cleaning Fridges
Roombas On Their Night Off
Clown Computing
Chauffeur Knowledge
Radical Candour (As seen on a slide at work)
Menacing Tumbleweeds
Olu Groke
Tiny Plant Comeback
The Declining
Sunlit Uplands Retirement Home
Vacuuming Nude
This is the Cloning of the Age of Aquarius
Heavenly Bamboo
Squashes
Piggy Back Racing
Here’s to Finding Out Things
Yeah, Whatever
Washed Up, On A Beach
Trampoline Blues
Null and Void
Pretzel Regret
Affordable Horsing
Slip on shoes should be banned
A dying owl looks back
I find myself caught in the arms of a colossal squid and I don’t want to be let out
Hard hats to follow
Semioticians take twice as long to unpack
Semiotic Ian
Blood Sugar Sex Mattress
A Collie Wobbles
Moon Butter Sculpture
A Line of Best Fit
If you say Squiggle one more time…
That was never out…
Rutger Hauer’s Finest Hours
Duvet? No, it’s Christmas
GDPR Workshop
They had Phil Collins in mind when you were conceived
Scraping the floor at the Barrel makers
Should Poets Have KPIs?
Instrument Amnesty (Thanks to my daughter’s school for the email title)
On Playing War Pigs for the First Dance at your Wedding
Sounding Bored
Invalid Captcha
Welcome to my Ted Talk
Sighs of a Cow
Magnets
HD TV
The Chick Pea Revolution
Climbing onboard an above average height horse
Panda Quotidian (Thanks to Flo for this one)
Watching The Cure
In Twenty Minutes
So Got to Go
Pocket Squares
Section by section, we laid the track
Frog, March
Full Court Press
Boxer’s Break
The Devil’s Avocado
Gold Dust Variations
Auto Recovery File
Exertion Headache
Peeling The Finch
Hip Gardener
Three Square Meals
Metro Gnomic
Suds Law
The Search For Martian Fettucine*
No Rushes
Dunking Biscuits
Who Wants To See My Arse?
Ankle Knack
Sandwich Fillings You Never Expected
Nest of Wankers
Sideways Looks
Stunner
Sweet Jesus, That’s Ridiculous…And I Like It
The Court Might Be Yours, And There May Be A Ball In It, But It’s My Ball And I’m Taking It Home
A Chicken And Egg Situation
The Finished Schematics For A Chicken And An Egg
If I Had To Chose
Poem With Backing Vocals
Torreador of Uncertainty
Who Wants to Win The League anyway
Hitchcock’s Hatchback
Florida Keycutter
When Your Pilot is a Juggalo
Kiss My Device Graph
Spoilers
A Gottle of Geer
Pelf on the Shelf
Erotic Cake-Dancing
Sticklebricks and Sticklemortar
Collaborative Salad Making
More Dynamite for your Dollar
A Smattering Tragedy*
Hand-reared
Arranging Aquatic Birds in a Linear Fashion
Pulled Muscle Cars
Poem Written as an Instrumental
Nicky, Louder
Mesopotamian Lullabies**
Christmas Card Lust***
Now that’s what I call a deck chair
Keeping Obituaries on File
The Onset of Twats
Retirement Home for Fly-By-Nights
Simon of the Times
People Can Act Like Rivets If You Need Them To
The Unbearable Lightness of Beading
Blanket Bans
Stalking the Back Roads
The Inventor of Ironing
Catalan Dog
Bloodletting Agent
Slinging Hooks
60-Day Bed Rest
Squids of Oahu
Cows Around The World
Seaside Fatberg
Fancy Baby Boot
Egyptian Egg Ovens
Unsolved Mysteries
For The High Jump
Hogwash
Disco Cowboy Hat
Driver Analysis
Four He’s A Jolly Good Fellows
Persona Non-Starter
Dog Treats
Dodo Starter Kit
The day I replaced your shampoo with glue
Awkward Squad Roll Call
Toreador of Uncertainty
Very Tres Bon
A Path Through The Hair Forest
Loop The Loop
Friday’s Never Been Good For Fighting, But It’s Good For Fish & Chips